


Variety Is the Spice of Life

by storiesfortravellers



Category: Leverage
Genre: Bad BDSM Etiquette, Bodyswap, Community: trope_bingo, Crack, Established Relationship, F/M, Humor, M/M, Multi, Oral Sex, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-23
Updated: 2013-02-23
Packaged: 2017-12-03 08:03:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/696083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesfortravellers/pseuds/storiesfortravellers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eliot and Parker swap bodies. They have different ideas about what to do with their new bodies.</p><p>Established Eliot/Hardison/Parker relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Variety Is the Spice of Life

**Author's Note:**

> For trope_bingo for the "Body Swap" square.
> 
> Warning: Some noncon in that a character masturbates in another character's body without asking permission first.

Eliot repeated the kata yet again. He was still growing accustomed to being in Parker’s body.

“Knock it off, Hardison,” he growled. It was still strange, the way his words came out in Parker’s voice.

“Knock what off?” Hardison said, looking his (Parker’s) body up and down as Eliot switched to a series of stance holds.

“Don’t check me out like that. It’s weird.”

“Since when do you care if I check you out?”

“Dammit, Hardison, don’t check me out when I’m not me!”

“Well, that’s going to make tonight’s plans kind of awkward. I guess I could wear a blindfold.” He grinned at Eliot.

Eliot stopped and walked over to Hardison. “Do you really think we’re going to have sex when I’m like this?” He tried to do that thing with Parker’s face that made everyone think she was a sociopath.

“Aw, look at you, trying to do Parker,” Hardison said. “What was that supposed to be? Uncomfortable chair face?”

“Twenty pounds of crazy face!” Eliot shouted.

“No, your mouth is all wrong. And yes, I was definitely thinking about sex.”

“Forget it. I need to train tonight. I’m not used to this body, and if I have to use it to protect the team, I need to practice.” Eliot stomped away and decided to switch to balance and flexibility training. He figured he might as well use Parker’s strengths in a fight if it came to that, though he hated the thought of letting Parker’s body get all bruised up. 

Parker came bounding into the room then, hopping into the room in way that just looked wrong in Eliot’s body. At least Eliot thought so; Hardison didn’t seem to mind. 

“Nate and Sophie say we’ll be cured in a few days!” she said.

“Why a few days?” Eliot demanded. He didn’t want to have to deal with this any longer than he had to.

Parker shrugged. “Something about magic having a lot of lag time or whatever. Hey, look what I can do!” she said, kicking the chair Hardison was sitting on, making it smash into pieces.

“Very impressive,” Hardison said, cheerfully getting back up and looking at Parker appreciatively. Or, more precisely, looking at Parker in Eliot’s body, making Eliot feel a twinge of jealousy that even he knew was irrational. He never minded that Hardison wanted – and loved – Parker as much as he loved Eliot. He adored the way Hardison doted on Parker, truth be told. But something about seeing Parker soak up Hardison’s heated gaze at Eliot’s body… it was strange.

All of this was strange.

He didn’t mention it. Instead, Eliot said, “Parker, don’t kick like that. You’ll injure my foot with that sloppy form.”

She rolled her eyes. “Why do you kick stuff all the time anyway? If I could have an orgasm this easily, I wouldn’t practice anything.”

“Wait – what?” Eliot sputtered. Hardison just smiled at Parker admiringly.

“I tried it out on the way here. Duh,” Parker said. 

“On the way? On the way as in in the car!??”

“No. I just teased it on the drive over. I waited until the parking lot to finish up. Safety, right? Anyway, it’s a nice change, being a guy. You want to get off, you just have to whack it around for a while. Abracadabra, smack smack smack, and then you’re done.”

“WHACK IT AROUND?!!” Eliot said. “You’d better not be whacking it around!!!” 

“I whack your stuff around all the time!” Parker objected.

“When I’m there!! To supervise!” 

Parker frowned and was about to respond, but Hardison suddenly groaned in realization. “Parker,” he said, “Did you happen to, um, speed or run reds on the way here?”

She shrugged. She always did. 

Hardison and Eliot looked at each other. “Traffic cams,” they said at once.

“Dammit, Parker! You got my body on a traffic cam with my dick out! That’s indecent exposure!” 

“I’ve got it,” Hardison assured him, heading to his computer to make sure the footage disappeared (and possibly saving a copy for himself, Eliot figured).

“Sounds good,” Parker said. “So, when are we having body switch sex?”

“Is that all that you and Hardison can think about,” Eliot grumbled. This was just too much.

“Eliot’s a little weirded out by the whole thing,” Hardison told her.

Parker frowned and folded her arms. She stared at Eliot, using Eliot’s eyes, Eliot’s glare. 

Then she shrugged again and did her false-casual act, one that wouldn’t fool anyone. “Fine, whatever you want,” she said, “I was just thinking it might be hot to watch Hardison go down on you. I mean, your orgasms are easy to get, but you have no idea what a woman’s body can feel like when I come. And Hardison is really, really good at it. And he knows my body really well. And I was thinking it would be really, really hot to watch you experience that. Especially with you looking like me. And maybe you could feel what it’s like for us to both fuck you at once. But if you’re not into any of that….”

Hardison smirked. The woman knew how to push Eliot’s buttons. 

And as much as Eliot hated to admit it, the hottest part was the thought of Parker watching her own body get serviced into a screaming orgasm. It would turn her on, Eliot knew, and Hardison would be turned on too, he’d get that smug blissful look he got when he managed to reduce his partners to incoherent mumbling.

Maybe the rest of his stance holds could wait until morning after all.

***

After, Eliot had to admit, Parker was right.

It was pretty amazing. And Hardison was indeed very, very good. Eliot had seen him work before, but that wasn’t the same as _feeling_ it.

Hardison was damn good.

And yeah, there were a few moments that weren’t so good. Like when Parker suddenly twisted his nipple. _Hard._

“Parker!” he yelled.

“But my body likes that,” Parker said and did it again. _Same nipple._

“Not when I’m in it!!!” Eliot said.

“Hm,” Parker said, perplexed. “Okay, something else.” She wet her finger in her mouth (Eliot’s finger, Eliot’s mouth) and slid it inside of Eliot, pressing down in taps on Eliot’s (Parker’s) clit, alongside Hardison’s tongue. 

Eliot couldn’t even control himself. A wave of an orgasm swept over him, over his whole body it felt like.

It was the first time of many that night.

***

The next morning, Nate called. “Good news. Got the cure early.”

They soberly got dressed and got ready to head over to HQ. 

“You know, there’s still lots of body switch sex stuff we haven’t tried,” Parker said sullenly.

Hardison looked at Eliot, hopeful.

Eliot sighed. These two would be the end of him.

But then, there were worse ways to go.

“Fine!” he said, throwing his arms up in exasperation. We’ll keep these bodies for a few days!”

Parker picked him up and threw him gently on the bed, giggling the whole time, the giggle strange but not unpleasant in Eliot’s voice. Hardison leaned over Eliot and whispered in his ear, “You won’t be sorry.”


End file.
